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I grab my vodka out of the freezer and then we trudge up the stairs and into a room plastered with band posters. They play for at least an hour before James collapses on the couch "Hey, let's bust out the brewskies! Your dad did buy us some, didn't he?"Ĭhris nods, pushing his hair behind his ear, "I'll go get 'em- they're in the garage fridge. Then I pay very careful attention to my book. That is until their low slung jeans and shirts start to slide opposite directions. I feel pretty old but I'm glad they're having fun. I can't help tapping my foot to all the silly 80s songs and occasionally watching them play. I sit in the over-stuffed chair and try to read through the din. I follow them, first into the kitchen to snag pizza, and then into the living room where they set to playing Guitar Hero- very loudly and actively. Well, this evening is off to a great start. He greets us at the door with a broad smile for James and uneasy glance for me. I made a quick stop for a bottle of vodka and then we were on our way to the two-story colonial Chris calls home. So, 45 minutes later I found myself driving across town with my little brother in tow. I was seriously regretting my decision to give into James but I didn't think I could get out of it now. I dumped my sweater for a tee and fleece pullover before picking my book back up. Me, on the other hand, I look like our dad- tall, broad shouldered, and with angular features. He looks a lot like our mom shorter than I am, and svelte, with one of those annoyingly adorable emo haircuts. I can't help it- my brother is really cute.
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I can't believe I allowed myself to get roped into this! James knows that I'm gay, I'd come out to my family two years previously, and he says it doesn't bother him but I had the sinking suspicion that it might if he knew just how often I had un-brotherly thoughts about him. I have to change now too."īack in my room, and blissfully alone, I sigh and adjust myself. "Yea, yea- just come get me when you are ready to go. I start to have a very un-brotherly reaction in my pants and push James away quickly. "Thank you, Danny!" He hugs me, completely unmindful of the shaving gel he is smearing on my sweater, and laughs. "Oh, dear lord! I'm bringing my book and something decent to drink." "Nah, we have to stay over!" His eyes dart around conspiratorially and he whispers "He's supposed to have some beer!" "Alright, I guess, but do we have to stay over- can't we just hang for a few hours and then come back?" "Overnight?! Come on, James, no way! I need to work on a paper that's due when I get back." He gives me very large pathetic eyes and the affect is enhanced so comically by the huge shave-gel-beard on one half of his face that I cave. "Will you please hang out with us? His parents are out of town and Mom says I can't go if you won't stay overnight with me and chaperone!" I guess I could still drop you off over there though if you ask me extra nicely." Chris had been my brother's friend forever but the last couple of times I'd seen him it had been really awkward. "So, I was thinking that later, if you didn't mind, you could give me a ride over to my friend's house. I think shaving is a giant pain in the ass but whatever makes him happy, I guess. He's only been shaving for a few months and I think he likes to show it off. He smiles wide at me "You don't mind if I shave while we talk, do you?" I roll my eyes and tell him that- no, I don't mind. He's standing at the sink shirt-less (spreading a very generous portion of shaving gel on his face) when I get there. My eyebrows go up slightly, bemused, and I head back up the hall. No James- only some posters (the one of the busty singer in rainbow panties makes me chuckle) and a scattered game system. I head down to his room, which is at the end of the hall from mine, and poke my head in.
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I've only been home for fall break two days and James has found about every excuse he can to bug me. He's several years younger than me, 18 to my 23, and he really looks up to me. I drop my book, a ragged old paperback I've read a million times, and head towards my little brother's room.